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Callback Script VT 2011 Edition
This script does contain situations which involve messing with the screen, but there is a separate (partial) script involving just the screen playing here. Reading Notes It's difficult to explain some callbacks, since (when done correctly) they're fluid and analog - and thus difficult to describe in a definite, textual form. Direct any questions you have to a local cast member, a forum, et cetera. There are some things to keep in mind while reading this script or performing callbacks. * Many callbacks have a particular cadence, which keeps them from overlapping the movie audio. It's difficult to describe in text, but generally speaking, use your fastest speed of speech which allows for enunciation. ** If the rest of the audience is using a callback, you don't have to follow along - but it might not be a bad idea. * There are some situations where no cadence will keep callbacks from overlapping. In that case, just know for sure what you're saying. * Most song callbacks are on the beat in some form or other. In transcribing the callbacks, the following textual styles are used for different callback styles. * Response / Call And Response ** Callbacks triggered by an audio cue, usually a character pausing or ending a sentence. 'Response' callbacks can sometimes overlay later dialogue. 'Call and Response' is a sequential 'Response' type, in that the callbacks are normally timed to fit into audio pauses, ultimately creating the illusion that the audience is conversing with the screen. ** Example: Say this is some dialogue in the script. (This callback is spoken after the character says the word 'script'.) Meanwhile, the character may be saying something else. * Overlay ** A simple phrase substitution, usually - although occasionally entire song verses can be overlaid by a callback. ** Example: The actor (audience) says this (this). * Discussion ** Some callbacks turn into discussions between sections of the audience. Normally, people doing callbacks choose one side or the other on the fly, although sometimes there's a member or two on the cast who will do both just to make sure someone does each part. ** Example: (One half might yell this! While the other half yells this!) * Chants ** A phrase or phrases repeated regardless of other callback lines until indicated. ** Example: (This is what gets chanted.) ** (Then later in the script, it's indicated when to stop the chant.) * Screen Timed ** Callbacks triggered by a particular visual event. The callback begins at the point specified on the script, although the precise timing may need to be seen and experimented with to perform the callback during a show. ** Example: (Screen event: Callback line) * Bracketing ** Expert-level callbacks, if you will. The callback begins before the movie dialogue, is supposed to be timed so that the callback ends in such a way that it ends right before the dialogue begins. These callbacks rarely have a particular cue that can be referred to; you can only guess when to start the callback using your knowledge of the movie and your particular speech cadence. ** Example: (The audience starts talking) Before the actor begins (and sometimes continues afterwards). * Screen Fucks ** Cast-only actions that are somewhat like callbacks. One or more cast members runs up and mimes direct interaction with the screen. ** Example: (There is usually a cue: Then there's an explanation of what the screen-fucker is supposed to do.) __TOC__ Song - Science Fiction Double Feature Wedding Scene Song - Dammit Janet Crim Scene 1 Crim: (I'll bet you'd like something.) I would like, (I told you so!) ah, if I may, (You may not!) ...to take you (Take me! Take me!) on a strange journey. (How strange was it? So strange they made a movie out of it!) (Crim pulls a book off the shelf: Not the book, the movie! Open the movie...) (Hey do you want to see my Pokemon cards? -start naming a handful of Pokemon ) (As the pages flip on screen: Three pages to asshole! Two pages to asshole! One page to asshole - wait for it!) (Picture of Brad comes onscreen: Asshole! Statement to prove it!) (Picture of Janet comes onscreen: Slut! Statement to prove it! That's not a statement, it's a resume!) (Crim comes onscreen: Aigh! The book ate his body! I ain't got no body - no body!) (Picture of Dr. Scott comes onscreen: Timmy!) It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors and his fiancee Janet Weiss, two young, ordinary, healthy kids, left Denton that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Everett Scott, ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them. (Is it true you fuck girl scouts?) It's true there were dark storm clouds, (describe your balls!) heavy, (woo!) black, (woo!) and pendulous, (woo!) towards which they were driving. (Is it also true you fuck boy scouts?) It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some air, (like your fucking neck!) but, uh, they being normal kids (Normal? They were virgins!) and, on a night night out... (It was a Days inn) (|Phantom cast member proceeds to climb crim's tie and fuck his chin|) well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening, were they?(It was a Days inn.) On a night out... (It was Days inn.) it was a night out (It was a night of in-and-out!) they were going to remember... (For how long?) For a very long time. (As the screen goes through a transition: You're so ugly you make the screen melt!) Driving Scene (Asshole – slut – asshole – slut...)(for those of you on speed: |repeat Asshole-slut faster| for those of you on weed: |repeat it slower| for those of you on acid: Red,green,blue,yellow,pink etc.| for those of you on crack OH MY GOD I'M ON CRACK!!) Janet: Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us.(No it's the first you can't count bitch) They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all. Brad: Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type. (Yay that type!) (She chews and chews and but, never swallows) Janet: Oh. ...What's the matter, Brad darling? (I came on the windshield again!) Brad: Hmmm.. we must have taken the wrong fork a few miles back. (Should've taken the left spoon) Janet: Oh, but where did that motorcyclist come from? (KAWASAKI bitch!) Brad: Hmmm... well I guess we'll just have to turn back. (No don't do it you'll hit the camera man) Janet: Oh! What was that bang? (Oh, no you just killed the plot!) Brad: We must have a blowout. (La la lala la la, la lala la...) DAMMIT! (Janet)(Movie 2, Smurfs 0!) I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed. Well, you just stay here keep warm and I'll go for help. Janet: But where will you go in the middle of nowhere? (Behind Janet's bush!) (Quick whats white and sells hamburgers?) Brad: Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles? Maybe they have a telephone I could use. (Castles don't have phones, asshole!) Janet: I'm going with you. Brad: Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting wet. (She already is!) Janet: I'm coming with you! (That'd be a first!) Besides darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman, (He is!) and you might never come back again. (You should be so lucky!) Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh. (The only rubber in the whole movie and it's got a hole in it!) (Asshole car repair, kick tires twice to inflate!) the tires. (...TWICE! Asshole!) (Sluts to the left!) runs to the left. (Sluts to the right!) runs to the right. (Sluts up the middle!) (Sluts outta sight) runs behind Brad. (...As usual.) Song - Over At The Frankenstein Place (Slut Slut Slut of the jungle look out for that tree) (Watch out for the slut-eating tree!) Janet: In the velvet darkness, (douche, douche, douche, twat) Of the blackest night, (twat, twat, douche) Burning bright, (What's up your ass?) there's a guiding star. (It's a brand new car!) (Do you wanna fuck?) No matter what or who you are. Brad & Janet: There's a light... Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place. (Epcot center) Brad & Janet: There's a light... (Where's Anne Frank?)(Where's Santa clause?)(Where did hitler keep the Jews?) (Where's the better script?) Chorus: Burning in the fireplace... Brad & Janet: There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life. (Fee, fyie, fo, fum) (4, 3, 2, 1,) (Sing to us o hairless one!) Riff Raff: The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming. (Describe Magenta's period) Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming Into my life. Into my life... (Oh no quicksand!!!) Brad & Janet: There's a light... Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place. (Mario cleared the castle!) Brad & Janet: There's a light... Chorus: Burning in the fireplace. (God is dead! God is dead!) (God is dead! Ack!) (Phantom cast member flips off the sky, get's struck by lightning and falls) There's a light, a light Brad & Janet: ...in the darkness of everybody's life. Brad: I can see the flag fly I can see the rain Just the same, there has got to be Something better here for you and me. Crim Scene 2 (No wonder they got lost, this fucker's got the map!) (He is so gay he can't even draw straight) Narrator: And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled on Brad and Janet and that they had found the assistance that their plight required. ...Or had they? Foyer Scene (It's Scooby-Doo on acid!) (Nah, he's just stoned.) Janet: Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened... Brad: Just a moment Janet, they might have a phone.(Castles don't have phones asshole) (Ding-dong, asshole calling,) (Sluts for sale, 69 cents, get 'em while they're tight) (TOO LATE!) Or (Ding dong asshole calling, wanna buy some asshole cookies?) (No, they taste like shit) (Its a doorgasim!)(how do you say jello with a Spanish accent?) Riff Raff: Hello.(I love you, won't you tell me your name) (Brad are you drunk or high?) Brad: Hi! My name is Brad Majors, (Asshole!) and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss. (Slut!) I wonder if you could help us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone we might use? (Castles don't have phones, asshole!) Riff Raff: You're wet. (Did you bring your waterproof vibrator, Janet?) Janet: Yes - (Why?) it's raining. (On mah lumps!) Brad: Yes. (Hey Brad are you gay?) (Hey riff are you gay? Riff Raff: Yes...(hey god are you gay? *lightning strikes, oh shit!) I think perhaps you better both (Fuck off!) come inside. (I don't care where you come, as long as you clean it up!) (I don't care if you clean it up, as long as you come!) (I don't care if YOU come as long as I come!) Janet: You're too kind. (Can you see the domestic in this picture?) (No, there's a slut in the way!) Oh Brad, I'm frightened. What kind of a place is this? (Describe the White House.) Brad: Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos. (Yay rich weirdos, yay poor weirdos, yay weirdos!) (Rich weirdos aren't in season, asshole!) (Tell that to Sarah Palin!) Janet: Oh. Riff Raff: This way. Janet: Are you having a party? (No it's my sisters barmitspha, tonight she becomes a man) Riff Raff: You've arrived on a rather special night. (TUESDAY!) It's one of the master's affairs. (Which one?) Janet: Oh, lucky him. Magenta: You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, (The banister's lucky!) we're all lucky! ha ha ha... Song - Time Warp (Hey Riff, show us (recent celebrity that died) and describe my ass!) Riff Raff: It's astounding;( it's a skeleton) Time is fleeting; Madness takes its toll. (Tolls of Madness!) But listen closely...(for how much longer...) Magenta: Not for very much longer.(thank god) (How many balls you got, Riff?) Riff Raff: I've got to ( (I've got three!) keep control.(smoke a bowl!) I remember doing the time-warp (kick, kick) Drinking those moments when The blackness would hit me Riff & Magenta: And a void would be calling... Transylvanians: Let's do the time-warp again. Let's do the time-warp again. (How the fuck do we do this?) Narrator: It's just a jump to the left. All: And then a step to the right. Narrator: With your hands on your hips. (Ohhhhh shit!) (And someone else's tits) All: You bring your knees in tight. (2, 4, 6, 8, huhn!) But it's the pelvic thrust (Group sex, group sex, group sex, group sex, fuck in a circle!) (Cum all over the place) That really drives you insane. Let's do the time-warp again. Let's do the time-warp again. Magenta: It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me. So you can't see me, (Do you douche?) no, not at all. In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention, Well secluded, (Can you see this?) I see all. (Oh shit!) Riff Raff: With a bit of a mind flip (Fuck) Magenta: You're into the time slip. (Fuck that bird!) (Grease that pole!) Riff Raff: And nothing can ever be the same. (Eat that bagel!) (I'm not Jewish!) Magenta: You're spaced out on sensation. Riff Raff: Like you're under sedation. All: Let's do the time-warp again. Let's do the time-warp again. Columbia: Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink. He shook me up, he took me by surprise He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes. He stared at me and I felt a change. Time meant nothing, never would again. All: Let's do the time-warp again. Let's do the time-warp again. Narrator: It's just a jump to the left! All: And then a step to the right. Narrator: With your hands on your hips.... All: You bring your knees in tight. (2, 4, 6, 8, huhn!) But it's the pelvic thrust (Group sex, group sex, group sex, group sex, circle jerk!) That really drives you insane. Let's do the time-warp again. Let's do the time-warp again. (2, 4, 6, 8, show us how you masturbate!) (3, 5, 7, 9, You know you do it all the time!) (10, 20, 30, 40, Now you're getting really horny!) (4, 6, 8, 10, Clean it up and start again!) (Don't... TRIP!) (1, 2, 3, 4 get your ass up off the floor!) Or ( 1, 2, 3, 4, dance you little fuckin whore) All: Let's do the time-warp again. Let's do the time-warp again. Narrator: It's just a jump to the left!! (Get the fuck off the desk!) All: And then a step to the right. Narrator: With your hands on your hips!... All: You bring your knees in tight. But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Let's do the time-warp again. Let's do the time-warp again. (Only virgins go all the way down!)(it's not over till the fat one farts!, okay it's over) Frank's Descent Janet: Brad, say something. (Stupid) Brad: Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?(of course we do we find it stimulating as shit!) Janet: Brad, please, let's get out of here. Brad: For God's sake keep a grip on yourself Janet. ((in time with the building bass line (and Frank's shoe, if you get lost))) (Shit, goddamn, get off your ass and jam) (Shit, goddamn, get off your ass and jam) Janet: But it... it seems so unhealthy here. ((these are done simultaneously – pick your favorite and run with it)) (Anal sex and oral sex and whips and chains) (Shit, goddamn, get off your ass and jam) (Sex!) (I said shit, goddamn, said sit on my face and slam it Janet!) Brad: It's just a party, Janet. Janet: Well - I want to go. (Anal sex and oral sex and whips and chains) (Shit, goddamn, get off your ass and jam) Brad: Well we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone. Janet: Well then ask the butler or someone. (Anal sex and oral sex and whips and chains) (Shit, goddamn, get off your ass and jam) Brad: Just a moment, Janet - we don't want to interfere with their celebration. Janet: This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad. (Anal sex and oral sex and whips and chains) (Shit, goddamn, get off your ass and jam) Brad: They're probably foreigners with ways different than our own. They may do some more... folk dancing. Janet: Look, I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared! Brad: I'm here - there's nothing to worry about. (Except that!) Song - Sweet Transvestite Frank: How do you do, I (Fuck sheep) See you've met my Faithful handyman.(hand-job man) He's just a little brought down Because when you knocked (They RANG) He thought you were the candyman. (Vibrator repair man) Don't get strung out (On PCP)(on sex and drugs) by the way I look. (Or taste or smell) Don't judge a book by its cover. (Oh I'm judging) I'm not much of a man (You're telling me!) by the light of day But by night I'm one hell of a lover. (One sick motherfucker) I'm just a sweet transvestite From Transsexual, Transylvania. (From San Francisco, California) or (Current location of the theater) Let me show you around Maybe play you a sound. You look like you're both pretty groovy. (Fucking goofy) Or if you want something visual (Try porn) That's not too abysmal, (Try kiddie porn) We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie. (Superman porn!) Brad: I'm glad we caught you at home, Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry. Janet: Right. Brad: We'll just say where we are, Then go back to the car. (Then go fuck in the car.) We don't want to be any worry. Frank: Well you got caught with a flat, well, (how bout this?) how 'bout that? (Tough shit.) Well, babies, don't you panic. (Everybody panic) By the light of the night it'll all seem alright. I'll get you a satanic mechanic. (Hispanic mechanic) I'm just a sweet transvestite (Boom-chicka boom-chicka boom-chicka boom!) From Transsexual, Transylvania. (From San Francisco, California) Why don't you stay for the night? Riff Raff: Night. Frank: Or maybe a bite? Columbia: Bite. Frank: I could show you my favourite obsession. (Sex) I've been making a man (You call that a man?) With blond hair and a tan (green eggs and ham) And he's good for relieving my (Anal) (sexual) ......tension I'm just a sweet transvestite (Check – him – out) From Transsexual, Transylvania. (From San Francisco, California) HIT IT, HIT IT! I'm just a sweet transvestite Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Sweet transvestite Frank: From Transsexual, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta: Transylvania. Frank: So - come up to the lab, (I can't cum that high!) And see what's on the slab. (Meatloaf) I see you shiver with antici (This movie would really suck without audience partici...) --- pation. But maybe the rain (Hallelujah!) Isn't really to blame. (No, Sue's to Blane! She did the costumes!) So I'll remove the cause. (Your clothes) But not the symptom. Getting In The Elevator (Janet's on the rag!) (No, the rag's on Janet!) (Brad what do you say when Janet tries to fuck you?) Brad: Oh, thank you very much. (Janet what do you say when Brad try's to fuck you?) Janet: Oh! Brad! Brad: It's all right Janet. We'll play along for now and pull out the aces when the time is right. (call that an ace? More like a 2 of clubs.) Columbia: Oh, slowly, slowly! It's too nice a job to rush. Brad: Hi, my name is Brad Majors, (Asshole!) and this is my fiancee, Janet Weiss; (Slut!) (Hey Brad how do you spell Urinate?) ah.. you are...? (Close enough) Columbia: You're very lucky to be invited up to Frank's laboratory. Some people would give their right arm for the privilege. (Or their left tit!) Brad: People like you maybe. Columbia: Ha! I've seen it. (And I DON'T do laundry!) Riff Raff: Come along - the master doesn't like to be kept waiting. (Riff can't hold his liquor!) Magenta: Shift it! (Cast Phantom holds a glass under riffs bottle asking for some booze, when he drops the bottle cast member gets mad, and when Riff shuts the door Cast member falls down) Janet: Is he, um, Frank I mean - is he your husband? Riff Raff: The master is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be. We are simply his servants. (Sex slaves) Janet: Oh. Up In The Lab (Who's that man all dressed in green?) (Oh my god, it's a gay Marine!) (Who's that man all dressed in blue?) (He's in the corps and he's gay too!) Frank: (What's the color of your foreskin after you masterbate?) Magenta, (Where do you get your drugs?) Columbia - go assist Riff Raff. I will entertain ...uh huh huh... (...the cameraman, with the world's largest handjob!) Brad: Brad Majors. (Asshole!) This is my fiancee, Janet "Vice". (Tight as a vice and twice as nice!) Janet: Weiss. Brad: Weiss? Um. (Hey Frank, say something in french that makes her horny) Frank: Enchante. (What does that mean?) Frank: Well! How nice.(Thats not what it means) And what charming underclothes (THATS what it means!) you both have. But here. Put these on. (And take those off) They'll make you feel less... (Naked) vulnerable. (Same thing.) It's not often we receive visitors here, let alone offer them... hospitality. (Horse brutality.) Brad: Hospitality!? (Horse brutality? I haven't had that since I was a kid!) (It's... a bird Its... a plane It's... It's...) All we wanted to do was to use your telephone, Goddammit, a reasonable request which you've chosen to ignore! Janet: Brad, don't be ungrateful. (It's...) Brad: Ungrateful! (Super Asshole! With his sidekick wonder slut with her cunt of steel) Frank: How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So... dominant. You must be awfully proud of him, Janet. Janet: Well, yes I am. Frank: Do you have any tattoos, Brad? (show him the butterfly) or (show him the carebare) Brad: Certainly not! (You can't tattoo an asshole!) Frank: Oh well,.. how about you? (Show him the battleship) Janet: No. Riff Raff: Everything is in readiness, master. We merely await your... (Erection) word. (Spills drink; oh shit my best suit, oh shit my only suit, oh shit it's a rental) Frank: Tonight, my unconventional conventionists... (Hey, that's us!) you are about to witness a new breakthrough in biochemical (bisexual) research... and paradise is to be mine! (Lost! Thanks, Milton!) It was strange the way it happened... ((when the close up of the statue speaker comes on)) (Hey, that's a well-hung speaker!, thank you I hung it myself) (Lower, lower) ((when it switches back to Frank)) (No, that's a pubic address system! THAT'S a well-hung speaker!) suddenly you get a break... whole pieces seem to fit into place, (up my ass!) (Like a dick up your ass!) not a sign of being.. what a fool! The answer was there all the time, (42! 69! (NOW you get it!)) it took a small accident to make it happen... (what is pre-mature ejaculation?) AN ACCIDENT... Magenta & Columbia: An accident! Frank: ..and that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient, (who gave the best head on the Star Trek enterprise?) that SPARK that is the breath of life... Yes, I have that knowledge... I hold the secret... (To life?) to life... (Itself?) itself! Resurrection Scene {> |- | || (In time with Magenta and Columbia fluffing the tank cover: 66, 67, 68, the cover is thrown off: 69!) |- | || Up now! ...throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator... (Show him that muscle, Rocky!) Oh! Song - I Can Make You A Man (Part II) Frank: But a deltoid and a bicep. A hot groin and a tricep. Makes me, oooh, shake, (wanna boogie with a midget) Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the...ha-ha-hand. Frank & Transylvanians: In just seven days (And seven nights and seven inches) I can make you a man. (I can make you a fag, just lke your dad) Frank: I don't want no dissention, just dynamic tension. Janet: I'm a muscle fan.(Shut up bitch) Frank: In just seven days, (And seven nights and seven inches) I can make you a man (I can make you a fag, just lke your dad) Dig it if you can In just seven days, (And seven nights and seven inches) I can make you a man. (I can make you a fag, just lke your dad) Transylvanians: Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah! (And the answer to the question: DOES Frank give a flying fuck?) Crim Scene 3 Settling In For The Night Frank The Wonder Fuck - Janet (Have no worries, have no fear!) (Frank the wonder fuck is here!) (Big or little, tall or small,) (Wonder Frank will fuck 'em all!) (Gooooo Frankie!) Janet: Who is it? Who's there? Frank (Brad): It's only me, Janet. Janet: Oh, Brad darling, come in. (And out and in and out and in) Oh! Brad Oh... Yes, my darling...but what if... Frank (Brad): It's all right, Janet, everything's going to be alright. Janet: Oh, I hope so, my darling. Oh...Ah...ahh OHHH! Oh it's you! Frank: I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't it nice... Janet: Oh, you beast, you monster...Oh what have you done with Brad? Frank: Oh, well, nothing.(your room was first) Why, do you think I should? Janet: You tricked me...I wouldn't have...I've never..never...(But what about the football team, and the footballs, and the schoolbus, and the goal post?) Frank: Yes, yes I know, but it isn't all bad, is it? I think you really found it quite pleasurable. Janet: Oh, stop...I mean help...Brad Brad!..Oh Brad!! Frank: Shhh. Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you like...This! (YES!) Janet: Like this..like how??! Oh, it's your fault...you're to blame... (No, Sue's to Blane!She made the costumes) I was saving myself...(for a rainy day? Look outside bitch it's pouring!) Frank: Well, I'm sure you're not SPENT yet...(spend her, spend her, she's legal tender) Janet: Promise you won't tell Brad? Frank: Cross my heart and hope to die... (Stick a penis in my eye!) Fucking With The Monster = (Magenta stares at Riff walking away: He may be my brother, but DAMN he's got a nice ass!) (Riff shoves the candlestick in Rocky's face: Was it the butcher? NO, was it the baker? NO, Then it must have been... the candlestick maker! Happy Chaunukah, motherfuckers!) (Rocky shuffle-runs to the elevator shaft: Gotta find a bathroom, gotta find a bathroom!) (Rocky gets off the elevator rope and looks around: Gotta find a bathroom, gotta find a bathroom!) Frank The Wonder Fuck - Brad (Have no worries, have no fear!) (Frank the wonder fuck is here!) (Big or little, tall or small,) (Wonder Frank will fuck 'em all!) (Gooooo Frankie! Take two.) Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad darling, it's no good here. It'll destroy us. Brad: Don't worry Janet, we'll be away from here in the morning. Frank (Janet): Oh, Brad you're so strong and protective. Brad: YOU! Frank: I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't it nice... Brad: Why YOU! What have you done with Janet? (Fucked the shit out of her!) Frank: Nothing. Why? Do you think I should? Brad: You tricked me, I wouldn't have...I've never never...never... (What about that time at boy scouts?) Frank: Oh Yes yes, I know...but it isn't all bad, is it? Not even half bad, I think you really quite enjoyed it. Frank: Oh... so soft... Brad: Stop it...stop it...oh Janet...JANET! Frank: Shhh! Janet's probably asleep by now, do you want her to see you... like this!(YES!) Brad: Like this, like how? It's your fault, you're to blame, (No, Sue's to Blane!) I thought it was the real thing! (You think this is a strap-on?!?) Frank: Oh come on, Brad, admit it, you liked it, didn't you? There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure, Brad. (It is in Virginia!) Oh Brad, you've wasted so much time already...Janet needn't know, I won't tell. Brad: Well, promise you won't tell... Frank: On my mother's graoouuuuuu.... Riff Raff: Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. The new playmate is loose and somewhere on the grounds. Magenta has just released.. the dogs. Frank: Mmmmm? Coming! (So's Brad!) (No, wait for it...) (There you go!) (Gotta find a bathroom, gotta find a bathroom!) Janet Finds The Monster Janet: What's happening here? Where's Brad? (Having sex) Where's anybody? (Having sex) (Rocky running through the rain: Where's the fucking bathroom?!) Oh, Brad. Brad, my darling, (Janet my slut!) how could I have done this to you? Oh, if only we hadn't made this journey... (but you did) if only the car hadn't broken down... (but it did)oh, if only we were amongst friends... (but your not)Or sane persons, (Get butch, bitch!)(I pledge alligence to my tit) Oh Brad, what have they done with him... Oh, Brad, (Don't worry, Janet – my asshole smokes after sex too!) (that's because you don't use enough lube!) Oh Brad-How could you? (Leave him alone, he's monsterbating!) Janet: Oh, but you're hurt...Did they do this to you? Here, I'll dress your wounds... (He's got more hurt than you've got skirt!) (I'm stuck on Janet, cuz Janet's stuck on me!) baby there... (Okay, Janet, you have a choice.) (You can either have sex with the monster,) (Or the audience.) (The monster...) (Or the audience.) (Woohoo!) Narrator: Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind... (and you can only read about it in a book) Vehement or excited mental state. It is also a powerful and irrational master...and from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television monitor there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed, ... its slave. Magenta and Columbia: Tell us about it, Janet. Song - Toucha Toucha Toucha Touch Me Janet: I was feeling done in, (And out and in and out and in) couldn't win (Tits like those and you couldn't win?) I'd only ever kissed before. Columbia: You mean she's... Magenta: Uh huh. Janet: I thought there's no use getting Into heavy petting (Heavy Metal) It only leads to trouble (Slayer) And seat wetting. (Hey, my seat's wet!) (Sit down and enjoy it!) Now all I want to know is how to go. I've tasted (cum)blood and I want more. Magenta and Columbia: More, more, more (Less, less, less) Janet: I'll put up no resistance I want to stay the distance I've got an itch to scratch I need assistance. Toucha toucha toucha touch me I want to be dirty Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me Creature of the night. Then if anything grows, (Ho ho ho.) (Don't worry, it will!) while you pose, I'll oil you up and rub you down. Magenta and Columbia: Down, down, down. (Up, up, up) Janet: And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction You need a friendly hand and I need action. Toucha toucha toucha touch me (Taco, taco, taco, taco,) I want to be dirty (I want a burrito!) Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me (Sour cream and guacamole,) Creature of the night. (Taco Bell tonight!) Columbia: Toucha toucha toucha touch me Magenta: I want to be dirty. (I wanna have puppies!) Columbia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, Magenta: Creature of the night. (Fuck me, I'm a dyke!) Janet: Oh, toucha toucha toucha touch me I want to be dirty Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me, creature of the night. Rocky: Creature of the night Brad: Creature of the night? Frank: Creature of the night. Magenta: Creature of the night. Riff Raff: Creature of the night. Columbia: Creature of the night. Rocky: Creature of the night! Janet: Creature of the night. (Ew, Rocky got sloppy sevenths!) (Seven people later and she finally cums!) Dr. Scott's Arrival Riff Raff: (How do you say 'thank you' in French?) Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Merrrrrcy! Frank: How did it happen? (Beats me, but I got a hunch!) I understood you were to be watching! Riff Raff: I was only away for a minute... (Doing what?) master (-Bating.) Frank: Well, see if you can find him on the monitor. (Nice forehand, Frank, how's your backhand?) (Needs work.) *Cuts to Brad (He never whips me like that!) Riff Raff: Master, master...we have a visitor. Brad: Hey, Scotty! ...Dr. Everett Scott. Riff Raff: You know this earthling ...person? Brad: I most certainly do! He happens to be an old friend of mine. Frank: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. You came here with a purpose. Brad: I told you, my car broke down. I was telling the truth. Frank: I know what you told me...but this Dr. Everett Scott, his name is not unknown to me. (Hey, I paid three dollars to see this movie and I wanna see some male tit!) Brad: He was a science teacher at Denton High School. (Male tit! Male tit! Male tit! Male tit!) Frank: And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Brad? He's attached to the bureau of investigation of that which you call UFO's! (Woo!) Isn't that right, Brad? Brad: He might be...I don't know. Riff Raff: The intruder is entering the building, master. Frank: He'll probably be... in the Zen room. (Dr. Scott, in the Zen Room, with... The Roach Clip!) Shall we inquire of him in person? (It's the Triple Action Faggot Magnet! With optional leg lift!) (Oh yeah!) Brad: Great Scott! (No! Mediocre Scott. If he was great, he could walk!) Dr. Scott: Frank N Furter, we meet at last. Brad: Dr. Scott! (Suck my cock!) Dr. Scott: Brad! What are you doing here? (Getting really good head!) Frank: Don't play games, Dr. Scott. You know perfectly well what Brad Majors is doing here. It was part of your plan, was it not? That he and his female should check the layout for you. Well, unfortunately for you, all the plans are to be changed. I am adaptable, Dr. Scott; I know Brad is. Dr. Scott: I can assure you that Brad's presence here comes as a complete surprise to me. I came here to find Eddie. Brad: Eddie! I've seen him! Frank: Eddie! What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott? Dr. Scott: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. (Smart-ass!) (Except walking!) You see Eddie happens to be my nephew. (My dinner!) Brad: Dr. Scott. Janet: Ah! Dr. Scott: Janet! Janet: Dr. Scott! Brad: Janet! Janet: Brad! Frank: Rocky! (Bullwinkle!) Dr. Scott: Janet! Janet: Dr. Scott! Brad: Janet! Janet: Brad! Frank: Rocky! (Bullwinkle!) Dr. Scott: Janet! Janet: Dr. Scott! Brad: Janet! Janet: Brad! Frank: Rocky! (Bullwinkle!)(no this is Patrick) Frank: Listen...I made you...and I can break you just as easily. Magenta: Master, dinner is prepared! (And Ah helped!) Frank: Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be optional. (Toga! Toga!) (Naked! Naked!) Crim Scene 4 Crim: Food has always played a vital role in Life's rituals. The breaking of the bread, the last meal of the condemned man, and now, this meal. However informal it might appear, you can be sure that there was to be very little.. bon ami. Dinner Scene (It's the Black & Decker Pecker Whacker! It slices! It dices! It fucks Janet Weisses! It sodomizes, circumsizes, lobotomizes, And BOY does it cut meat!) Frank: A toast... to absent friends... All: To absent friends. Frank: And Rocky. Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Rocky... (Happy birthday, FUCK YOU.) (Use a fork, you fucking Marine!) (Use a Marine, you fucking fork!) (What??) (If it made sense, it wouldn't be here!) Shall we? Dr. Scott: We came here to discuss Eddie. Columbia: Eddie?! Frank: That's a rather tender subject. (That's a rather tasteless joke!) Another slice anyone? (Brad gets it!) (Janet gets it!) (Dr. Scott gets it!) (Rocky gets it, Rocky doesn't care!) Columbia: Excuse me... (We've secretly replace Columbia's vibrator with a cactus.) (Let's see if she notices.) Dr. Scott: I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was worse than I imagined...Aliens! Rocky: Ugh?! Brad & Janet: Doctor Scott! Frank: Go on, Dr. Scott. Or should I say Dr. Von Scott? Brad: Just what exactly are you implying? (that he's a nazi) Dr. Scott: It's all right! Brad: But Dr. Scott! Scott: That's all right, Brad!! Song - Eddie's Teddy From the day he was born (Not the night, but the day) He was trouble. (Not Monopoly, but Trouble) He was the thorn (Not the rose, but the thorn) In his mother's side. (Not the ass, but the side) She tried in vain... (He tried cocaine, in the artery and the vein) Narrator: ...but he never caused her nothing but shame. (Shame, shame, shame) Scott: He left home the day she died. (He got stoned the day she died) From the day she was gone (Shoo bop shoo bop bop) All he wanted (Was Doctor Scott's cock) Was Rock 'n' Roll porn (You call that porn?) And a motorbike. (Oooo-weee-oooo-oooo) Shooting up junk... (Gimme junk! Gimme junk!) Narrator: He was a low down cheap little punk! (Oy! Oy! Oy!) Scott: Taking everyone for a ride. (He never took me!) (You never asked!) All: When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy (When Eddie said he circumcised his teddy) You knew he was a no-good kid. (You knew he was a Jewish kid! Oy vey!) But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife (But when he threatened your wife with a dick this size,) Frank: What a guy! (Oh my god!) Janet: Makes you cry. (What a rod!) Scott: Und I did. (Stick it in!) Columbia: Everybody shoved him. I very nearly loved him. I said, hey, listen to me; Stay sane inside insanity! But he locked the door and threw away the key. (Everybody sucked him. I very nearly fucked him. I said hey stick it in me; stay hard inside my cavity! But he pulled it out and he came all over me. ) Scott: But he must have been drawn (Not sketched, but drawn) Into something, (What ze fuck's a 'zumzing'?) Making him warn (Not you, but...) Me in a note that reads... All: What's it say? What's it say? (What's it say, is he gay?) Eddie's voice: I'm out of my hed. (Spelled H-E-D.) Oh, hurry, or I may be dead. (Spelled right.) They mustn't carry out their evil deeds. All: When Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy (When Eddie said he circumcised his teddy) You knew he was a no-good kid. (You knew he was a Jewish kid! Oy vey!) But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife (But when he threatened your wife with a dick this size,) Frank: What a guy! (Oh my god! ) Janet: Makes you cry. (What a rod!) Scott: Und I did. (Stick it in!) All: When Eddie said he didn't like his Taut (When Eddie said he circumcised his teddy) You knew he was a no-good kid. (You knew he was a Jewish kid! Oy vey!) But when he threatened your life with a switch-blade knife (But when he threatened your wife with a... ballpoint pen?) Frank: What a guy! Janet: Makes you cry. Scott: Und I did. (What the fuck is an 'unt'?) (Three quarters of a cunt!) (What happened to the other quarter?) (I ate it!) Slapping Janet (How many times do I have to tell you. I - hate - Frank pulls off the sheet - CELERY!) (The camera focuses on Eddie's corpse: His name is Robert Paulson! His name is Robert Paulson!) Frank: Rocky! How could you? Song - Wise Up I'll tell you once; I won't tell you twice. You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss. Your apple pie don't taste too nice. You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss. (Ow, ow, ow ow, ow, ow ow, ow, ow ow, ow...) I've laid the seed; it should be all you need. You're as sensual as a pencil, wound up like an E or first string. When we made it, didja hear a bell ring? Ya gotta block? Well, take my advice. You better wise up, Janet Weiss. The transducer will seduce ya. Janet: My feet! I can't move my feet! Scott: My wheels! My God, I can't move my wheels! Brad: It's as if we're glued to the spot! Frank: You are! So quake with fear, you tiny fools! Janet: We're trapped! Frank: It's something you'll get used to. A mental mind fuck can be nice. Scott: You won't find Earth people quite the easy mark you imagine. This sonic transducer...it is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibrato- physio-molecular transport device? Brad: You mean... (A vibrator!) Scott: Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on (A working vibrator!) for quite some time. But it seems our friend (A friendly vibrator!) here has found a means of perfecting (The perfect vibrator!) it. A device which is capable of breaking (A broken vibrator. :-() down solid matter and then projecting it through space (A cosmic vibrator!) and, who knows, perhaps even time.. itself! (Doctor Who's vibrator!) Janet: You mean he's going to send us to another planet? Frank: Planet, shmanet, Janet! You better wise up, Janet Weiss. You better wise up, build your thighs up, You better wise up Narrator: And then she cried out... Janet: Stop! Frank: Don't get hot and flustered!(Don't use lube use mustard) Use a bit of mustard. (Stick a) Brad: You're a hot dog, (Up my) but you better not try to hurt her, (Squirt her with your twelve inch)(Oscar Myer) Frank Furter. (Stick a) Scott: You're a hot dog, (Up my) but you'd better not try to hurt her, (Squirt her with your twelve inch)(Hebrew National) Frank Furter. Janet: You're a hot dog -- (Shut up, bitch, it wouldn't've rhymed anyway.) Columbia's Rant Columbia: My God! I can't stand any more of this! (Then sit down) First you spurn (sperm??) me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... (Doesn't ANYBODY in this movie swallow??) I loved you..do you hear me? I loved you! (Oh shit) And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. (At least it was big!) You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough. You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named because of the rocks in his head. (Holy shit! What a bitch!) (Quick, Magenta, flip the switch!) Frank: It's not easy having a good time... (In Blacksburg!) (How do you feel after blowing the whole football team?) Even smiling makes my face ache...(Then bite your thumb like a Jewish grandmother) Dealing With The Help (Frank walks to the freezer door: I see a red door and I want to paint it black...) Frank: And my children turn on me...Rocky's behaving just the way that Eddie did. Do you think I made a mistake, splitting his brain between the two of them? Magenta: Ahhhh! I grow veary of this world! When shall we return to Transylvania, huh? (Ven you capture moose und sqvirrel!) Frank: Magenta, I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother Riff Raff. You have both served me well. Loyalty such as yours shall not go unrewarded. You will discover that when the mood takes me, I can be quite generous. Magenta: I ask for nothing... (Under twelve inches!) Nothing. Frank: And you shall receive it... (Where?) in abundance! (In the buttocks!) (Fee, fi, fo, fum, first I jerk off then I) Come, we are ready for the floor show! (All this and a floor show, too?) Crim Scene 5 Crim: And so, by some extraordinary co-incidence, fate, it seemed, had decided that Brad and Janet should keep that appointment with their friend, Dr. Everett Scott. But it was to be in a situation which none of them would have possibly foreseen. And, just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Brad and Janet had both tasted (Frank's cock!) forbidden fruit. (Same thing.) This in itself was proof that their host was a man of little morals...(yay little morals!)and some persuasion. (We can work on some persuasion) What further indignities (Shock Treatment) were they to be subjected to? And what of the floor show that is spoken of? (Where do you masterbate?) In an empty house? (When do you masterbate?) In the middle of the night? (What diabolical chicken) (Stepped on your forehead,) (Fucked your chin,) (shit on your tie) (And stole your fucking neck?) What diabolical plan had been shaped by Frank's crazed imagination? What indeed? From what had gone before, it was clear that this was to be no picnic. (No picnic? I already brought the ants!) Song - Rose Tint My World (Floor Show) Columbia: (Describe this movie!) It was great when it all began. (But now it sucks!)(No it wasn't) I was a regular Frankie fan. (I was a certified lesbian!) (How do you get certified?) But it was over when he had the plan (I had to pass an oral exam!) To start a-working on a muscle man. (And suck off a librarian!) Now the only thing that gives me hope Is my love of a (smokin) certain dope. Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain. Rocky: I'm just seven hours old, (And can't dance!) And truly beautiful to behold. (And modest, too!) And somebody should be told My libido hasn't been controlled. (I have the penis of a four year old!) Now the only thing I've come to trust (Is Janet's bust!) Is an orgasmic rush of lust (Same thing!). Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain. (Keeps me safe while I polish my balls!) (What do you say when you masturbate?) or (What does Mark Zuckerburg say after snorting cocaine off a hookers ass?) Brad: It's beyond me; help me Mommy! I'll be good; you'll see. Take this dream away. What's this? (The floor!) Let's see, (Still the floor!) I feel sexy! What's come over me? (Frank.) Wo! Here it comes again. (Ooo, good recovery time!) Janet: I feel released; (If feel real cheap!) bad times decease. (I like to fuck sheep!) My confidence has increased; (I'm still pickin' wool out of my teeth!) reality is here. (Little Ho Peep is here!) The game has been disbanded; (What fits now? Well, my hand did) my mind has been expanded. (My vagina's been expanded!) It's a gas that Frankie's landed! (What's that smell?) (Cover it up!) His lust is so sincere. (Janet, kiss my ass! Janet makes a kissing gesture. Use tongue next time!) Song - Rose Tint My World (Don't Dream It) Frank: (whatever you do do not talk about Fay Wray!) Whatever happened to Fay Wray? (She went ape shit!) That delicate, satin-draped frame?(It was polyester you satin loving skank) As it clung to her thigh (like a homesick abortion) or (What, the ape shit?) How I started to cry (I'd cry too if I was a homesick abortion, mommy mommy its cold out here.) 'cause I wanted to be dressed just the same. (By Sue Blane!)or (like a queer) Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh. Erotic nightmares, beyond any measure And sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Oh, oh, oh... oh! (Oh, shit! Mom and Dad are home!) (So the link between man and god is... A faggot in an innertube.)(waiter waiter there is a Transvestite in my soup!) (How's God's finger up your ass feel, Frank?) (Heavenly!) Don't dream it, be it. (What's the difference between Frank and the Titanic?) (We know how many people went down on the Titanic!) (How did Frank sink the Titanic?) (He blew a hole in the side and sucked out all the seamen!) All: Don't dream it, be it. (Last one in the pool has to be in the sequel!) (Sorry, Little Nell!) Scott: Ach! We've got to get (the fuck) out of this trap before this decadence saps our wills. I've got to be strong, and try to hang on, or else my mind may well snap, and my life will be lived... (Why do you fuck girl scouts?) for the thrills! (For za cookiiiiiiiez!) Brad: It's beyond me; help me Mommy! Janet: God bless Lilly St. Cyr. Song - Rose Tint My World (Wild And Untamed Thing) (Tell us who's pool this is in 13 words or less!) Frank: My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my...my! I'm a wild and an untamed thing.(*keep repeating:it's almost over) I'm a bee with a deadly sting. You get a hit and your mind goes ping. Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing. So let the party and the sounds rock on. We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone. Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain. (Meet the Beatles!) (John!) (Paul!) (George!) (Ringo!) All: We're a wild and an untamed thing. We're bees with a deadly sting. You get a hit and your mind goes ping. Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing. So let the party and the sounds rock on. We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone. Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain. (That's where the choreographer died) We're a wild and an untamed thing. We're bees with a deadly sting. You get a hit and your mind goes ping. Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing. So let the party and the sounds rock on. We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone, gone, gone. Rose tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain. Riff Raff: Frank N Furter, it's all over. (The movie's almost over!) Your mission is a failure; (The filming was a failure!) Your lifestyle's too extreme. (Your hairstyle's too extreme!) I'm your new commander; (I just fucked my sister!) You now are my prisoner. (You can smell my finger!) We return to Transylvania. (It reeks of rotten tuna,) Prepare the transit beam. (Even though she licked it clean!) Frank's Explanation Song - I'm Going Home (You go fuck with the lights, you go fuck with the switches, and I'll stay here and shit my britches) (Columbia sure is bright, but Rocky is a flipping genius)(Lady's and Gentlemen for one night only Liza Manley with alfalfa's shadow singing i'm going home) Frank: On the day I went away... All: Goodbye... (Nobody cared...) Frank: Was all I had to say... All: Now I... (Boo fucking hoo...) Frank: I want to come again, (and again, and again) and stay. All: Oh, my, my... Frank: Smile, and that will mean I may. 'cause I've seen, oh, blue skies (Windows 95!) Through the tears in my eyes And I realize, I'm going home. All: I'm going home. (Instant audience, just add acid!) (Instant acid, just add audience!) (Where ya been?) Frank: Everywhere (how's it been?) it's been the same... All: ...feeling... (What's it like pissing into a ceiling fan?) Frank: ...like I'm outside in the rain... All: ...wheeling... Frank: ...free to try and find a game... All: ...dealing... (Describe magic of the gathering) Frank: ...cards for sorrow, cards for pain. 'cause I've seen, (this movie too many fuckin times) oh, blue skies Through the tears in my eyes And I realize, I'm going home.(i'm fuckin stoned!) Frank & All: I'm going home. (Hey, it's a total faggot eclipse! What's a total faggot eclipse? It's when a gay man comes in front of your son!) (And then the drugs wore off) The Death Of Everyone Magenta: How sentimental. Riff Raff: And also presumptuous of you. You see, when I said WE were to return to Transylvania,(I was speaking french) I referred only to Magenta and myself. I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, (you fuckin lied) but you see, you are to remain here, in spirit, anyway. Scott: Great heavens! That's a laser! Riff Raff: Yes, Dr. Scott. A laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti- matter. (Then it's not a laser!) Brad: You mean...you're going to kill him? What's his crime? (Male fraud!)(Homo-side) Scott: You saw what became of Eddie. Society must be protected. (Fuck society!) (I fucked society, I got a social disease!) Riff Raff: Exactly, Dr. Scott. And now, Frank N Furter, your time has come. Say goodbye to all of this, (Goodbye, all this!) and hello... (Hello!) to oblivion! (Hi, oblivion, how's the wife and kids?) (Wife's fine, but the kids are a little tight. Sorry about the cat.) (A blink of the eye, a twitch of the lip...) (...The first one to scream gets shot in the tit!) (The first thing in the movie Frank doesn't go down on and it would've saved his life!) (No, Rocky, don't let the music out!) (Dammit!) (Chest of steel!) (Back of steel!) (Deltoid of steel!) (Plank of wood!) (Armpit of steel!) (Get your hand off my ass!) (...And onto my nipple!) (Tower of plastic!) (Force of gravity!) Brad: Good God! Janet: Oh! You killed them! Magenta: But I thought you liked them. They liked you. (Get paranoid, Riff!)(give your best impression of me at family therapy) Riff Raff: They didn't like me! (Get REAL paranoid, Riff!) He never liked ME! Scott: You did right.(kiss ass) (Slowly I turned; step by step, inch by inch, millimeter by fucking millimeter...) (How do you fuck a millimiter?)(lots of lube) Riff Raff: A decision had to be made. Scott: You're O.K. by me. Riff Raff: Dr. Scott, I'm sorry about your nephew. Scott: Eddie? Yes, well, perhaps it was all for the best, heh, heh, heh.(he tasted pretty good) Riff: You should leave now, Dr. Scott, while it is still possible. We are about to beam the entire house to the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. Go... Now! (Does this mean we can't use your phone?) Our noble mission is completed, my most beautiful sister,(if that's the beautiful one I wonder what the ugly one looks like) and soon we shall return to the moon-drenched shores of our (disgusting, polluted) beloved planet. Magenta: Ah, sweet Transsexual, land of night. To sing and dance once more to your dark refrain... To take that - step, to the right... Both: (Did anyone else taste acid in the popcorn?) HAH!! (Transies flash on screen: Ack!) Riff Raff: But it's the pelvic THRUST... Transylvanians: That drives you insane! (Did anyone else taste acid in the popcorn? Transies flash on screen. Ack!) (Wait, this wasn't in the movie!) (Shut up, it is now!) Magenta: And our world...will do the Time (same shit again) Warp...again! Song - Superheroes (How much pot have you smoked?!) Brad: I've done a lot; (of little boys) God knows I've tried (to fuck little boys) To find the truth. I've even lied.(to the parents of little boys But all I know is down inside I'm (I really wanna fuck little boys) All: Bleeding... (So swallow a tampon and shut up!) (Ladies amd gentlemen for one night only susan Sarandon in Cats!) Janet: And super heroes (Stumble stumble fall!) (Meow meow meow meow...) come to the feast (Stumble stumble fall!) To taste the flesh (Stumble stumble psych!) not yet deceased. (Stumble stumble squat!) And all I know is still the beast is All: Feeding... (Is that my nose exploded!) Ahh, ahh... (Thelma! Thelma! Where are you, Thelma!) (Louise! Louise!) (Timmy! Timmy!) (Hey, I've been to Australia – it's not purple!) (Yeah, but I've been to China, and it IS red!) (You killed kenya)(*cast member spins screen then continues to spin globe, when crim stops it cm falls or does a flip then plays dead) Narrator: And crawling on the planet's face Some insects, (why was your phone bill so high?) called the human race... (oh shit that's us) Lost in time, (What's your favorite tv show to masturbate to?) and lost in space, (What does this movie lack?) And meaning. (One more time for the virgins) All: Meaning. Song - Science Fiction Double Feature (Reprise) (Depending on the cast, this is normally used as the curtain call.) Usherette: Science Fiction Double Feature. Frank has built and (beat and fucked) Lost his creature. Darkness has conquered (beat and fucked) Brad and Janet. The servants gone to A distant planet. Wo, oh, oh, oh. At the late night, double feature, Picture show. I want to go, (I still want to cum!) oh, oh, oh. To the late night, double feature, Picture show. (Right before the music style changes: Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!) Category:Wiki extras